this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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