You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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