The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
