I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
