Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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