dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
