I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize