It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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