put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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