i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
