it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
