its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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