if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
