i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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