Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
