wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
