Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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