So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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