you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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