But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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