Soap is not a condiment
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
