You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
