yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
