Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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