Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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