I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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