She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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