It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
