I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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