I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
