It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
