watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
