I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Houston, we have a blender
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
