oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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