at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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