i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
OPIZZABONMYDICK
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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