he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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