When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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