woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
