We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
