That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
