That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
