When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize