Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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