When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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