Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
