just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
