I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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