If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
