she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
