I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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