wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
