Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just google imaged poop.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
