stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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