I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
