no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
