conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
