i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
