in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
