remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize