The maid of honor just puked.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
