somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
