I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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