I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
