I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
