Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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