i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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